I'm looking right at the other half of me
by shadybitch
Summary: After spending the day trying to mend her relationship with Regina, Emma and the former queen confront their feelings towards each other. one-shot, Swan Queen, set in the episode Breaking Glass (4x05)


**A/N- **well, hello dears! I'm back and with Swan Queen YAY! To celebrate October which totally was the Swen month and last Sunday's episode which was totally SQ I made this little fic. It's short and simple but I felt like I had to do it, I felt inspired so I embraced it. This story follows the timeline of the last episode, beginning on that scene in the end when Emma makes a speech about how Regina understands her and that she wants them to be friends and etcetera, but on my spin there did not stopped in this friendzone crap okay, lol. This fic contains something my other SQ fics do not and I hope you enjoy it *wink*. About the title, as always, it's a line from a song, and this one I think totally relates to Swan Queen, especially in this episode 4x05 Breaking Glass. The song is Mirrors by Justin Timberlake, and it's one of my favorites of all times. Without any further, I hope y'all read and enjoy! xoxo

* * *

><p><strong>I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT THE OTHER HALF OF ME<strong>

"I don't wanna make the same mistake again, Regina. Living in Storybrooke I've got my son and my parents and I love them, but they can't always understand me. They don't know what it feels like to be rejected and misunderstood, not the way I do, not the way you do. And somehow that makes us, I don't know, unique, or maybe even special" Emma pauses her rant here to catch a breath, maybe giving time for Regina to react but the former queen remains stoic.

Emma takes a deep breath and continues. "I wasn't looking for you to assuage my guilt, I was just looking for you to be my…" she hesitates here, debating the right word to use.

Regina gives her a little push, daring the sheriff to say what she really wants to say. "Be your what?"

"My… friend", Emma says but she doesn't look sure about it. Seems it isn't the word she wanted to use, or maybe she's just feeling insecure about this whole thing in general.

Either way, Regina's attention is caught. "You thought we were friends?" the brunette asks, a mix of surprise and something that looks a lot like hope.

"Crazy, right?" Emma replies, chuckling nervously. "But I thought it could be, that it was possible", she shrugs. "And I'm not gonna stop trying, even if you still wanna kill me" she adds in a firmer tone while turning to leave the vault.

Regina is in awe for a split second, but she recovers and calls "Emma, wait". She sighs and tries to sound as nonchalantly as she can, "I don't _want_ to kill you."

"See? That's a start" Emma says, and her smile is so bright and full of hope that Regina can't help but smile along.

But she can't let Emma get her hopes high. This friendship she seeks is not possible.

"But we can't be friends either" the brunette says in a constricted voice.

Emma's smile falters at this, but she holds her ground. "You can't say that without even giving us a chance to try this."

Regina expected that much; if today had proved anything is that Emma doesn't give up easily. "I can because I know it's not going to work."

"How can you possible know that?" the blond insists.

Regina takes a moment to think about the best way to answer this without showing her cards. She decides to go for the truth; well at least a part of it. "Because it's not what I want."

Emma sighs at this and takes a tentative step towards the brunette. "Regina I know you're still hurt and you're still mad at me and it's okay but…"

"No, it's not about that" Regina cuts her off. "I mean, you're right; I'm still hurt and I'm still mad at you, but it's not that", now it's her turn to sigh. "This isn't a tantrum; I'm not doing this out of stubbornness just to hurt you back. I just can't do friends with you."

"So why you called me back just now?" Emma asks taking another step forward, frustration taking over her features. "Why you just said you don't wanna kill me, like this is not as bad as I thought if it is as bad as I thought?"

"It's not. And I did that because I want you to know that I don't hate you and I'm not going on a vengeance rampage against you. I'm still pissed but ultimately we're good, we can coexist just fine. That's all that was about", Regina explains trying to maintain a blank expression on her face.

"If we're good then why can't we be friends?" Emma asks, almost pouting.

"It's complicated", it's all Regina gives her.

"Is it because you don't know how friendship works? Because I don't either, I've never had real friends, I'm just figuring this stuff out now. We can do it together", the blonde says taking another step towards Regina with that same hopeful smile from minutes ago.

"It's not that. It's partially that too, but not just that" Regina says holding her midsection and feeling backed up into a corner by this conversation. This wasn't supposed to be happening.

"Then what is it?" Emma demands almost whining; her plea is so desperate now plus the way she acted the entire day makes Regina wonder that the other woman really need to have this, and if she can't have it she needs to understand exactly why is that.

So Regina gives in and tells her as much as she can without revealing too much. "That's not how I feel about you and I don't think I can ever get to the same page as you."

"Then how do you feel about me?"

The brunette is actually amused by the other woman's stubbornness. "You don't want to know", she says with a smirk.

"I really do", Emma replies in a serious tone taking another step forward and making the space between them barely existent.

"Emma…" it's meant to be a warning but Regina's voice cracks and it sounds more like a plea.

"Regina please, I need to know" the blond says in a whisper.

"Why?"

A little smile plays in the corner of Emma's mouth. "Cause maybe I feel the same way."

A silence engulfs them for a few seconds that feel like an eternity. They simply stare into the depths of each other's eyes. Regina knows what's about to happen and every inch of her body screams that she has to poof out right now before this goes too far.

But the thing is, she had run away from Emma all day and she's fucking tired of it. And it's kinda pointless since the blonde made clear that she's not giving up on this matter, so honestly what does she have to lose right?

So she challenges. "It's not possible."

And as expected, Emma does not back down. "Try me."

It all happens too fast. One second they're just staring at each other, next second they have their eyes closed and their lips touching softly.

It's not even clear who started the kiss, but it was definitely Regina who deepened. She pressed her mouth harder against Emma's and the sheriff responded by parting her lips promptly; from there, hands found blonde locks and other hands found bony waist.

Their bodies pressed tightly against each other and a battle of tongues started, though it didn't last long since they needed to part for a bit of air. But Emma didn't let go without one last hard suck at the brunette's bottom lip.

They stare at each other for a moment, panting and lost in the dizzy aftereffects of the kiss.

It's Regina who breaks the silence with an observation that not even she is sure where it had come from. "You're with Hook now."

"Because you weren't available", Emma simply says with a smirk playing on her lips.

"I was for a very long time", Regina points out.

"I was stupid back then", Emma shrugs but her eyes tell Regina how sorry she is for that.

"You still are", the brunette plays with her to ease her thoughts.

"I was worse."

"True."

And they chuckle, still holding each other and lost in the moment.

Then another out of nowhere thought surfaces, but this time from Emma. "Wait, if this-" then she gestures between them "-is a thing, how come were you so pissed with me about the Marian situation?"

Regina can't help the eye roll. "Well, I didn't believe this-" also gesturing between them "-was going to be a thing. And I didn't want to be alone forever thinking about what I could never have", she explains. "So I tried to move on, but you took away my chance to move on, and I was mad because you seem to always come between me and my happy ending."

"Or…" Emma starts, holding the brunette a little tighter against her, "maybe you were chasing the wrong things and I was simply redirecting you to your real happy ending."

"Is that so?" Regina chuckles at this. "But pray tell, what is my real happy ending?"

"Honestly I don't know for sure, but we can figure it out" the blonde says with a brighter hopeful smile. "Cause one thing is clear: our best chance is always together", she then takes Regina's hand and entwine their fingers. "Are you with me?"

Regina holds her gaze and answers with the firmest of tones "Forever. No matter what."

**the end**


End file.
